People are Weird – also the ticket-fiasco

So, yesterday, I basically was busy for the whole day and effectively came home somewhat late (around 10 PM ish?). It was a long day as I finally fixed my sleep schedule and I consequently woke up in the morning (as opposed to falling asleep in the morning and waking up in the afternoon).

I did a short stream discussing GamesCom questions and things people wanted to talk about.

I then got ready for said event where I wanted to ask the questions, took the train, survived the heat, and when I was there, I wasn’t allowed entry with my “ticket” because of some simple miscommunication.

When I was invited to the IAB Press Reception, I thought that that would entail that the “ticket” is actually a ticket that allows me entrance. Well, no. I would have had to buy a ticket for 55€ – which I can’t do. I hence went ahead and left and returned very late to the main station where I’d wait for the bus home. Whatever.


But there, at the main station, I had this incredibly weird interaction with people.

So, my bus was gonna take ten minutes to arrive, so I wanted to sit down on this bench. As per usual.

But when I sat down, there were these women on the other side of the otherwise empty bench who said “See? I told you he’d come over!”

Naturally, I asked if there is a problem. I mostly was kind of annoyed by the heat, the tardy trains, the whole ticket fiasco, and all of that. I would have let it slide otherwise and just not engaged with them… but they were talking about me, so I wanted to know if there was a problem with me sitting on the other side of this bench.

Anyway, one of these women was explaining how they thought I’d come over and sit very close next to her. That, however, is such a weird thing to say in my opinion.

Hence, I asked: “Why would I sit down right next to you when there is plenty of space on the other end of the bench?”

And then… she very confidently told me that she thought I’d get super close to her to sexually harass her or something. Her friend there agreed to that sentiment.

Now, obviously, that’s a valid concern. Sometimes you don’t feel safe.

But that leads to the question: Do I look like a molester? I shaved my beard off today. Would this have happened with the fully grown beard as well? Do my sandals give off the impression that I’m some sort of creep?

I didn’t ask them that. I simply didn’t say anything to that. One of them went on some quasi-racist rant about “people from outside of this city” apparently doing that really often… At that point, I put my headphones into my ears and just put my music on full blast.

I felt insulted, though. That’s such a rude and weird accusation to make, on top of it being baseless since she had her stuff on the seat next to her. I doubt I could sit on that. It would probably be quite uncomfortable with the keys and her purse and whatnot.

But people don’t think that far ahead, I guess. Typically, when I don’t want people to sit next to me, I put my bag there to stop people from sitting down. If the bench is full, I put it on my lap or I get up and walk away.

And like, I get that that’s a valid concern. Not the racist stuff – the stuff about sexual harassment. I get that it comes from a place of experience and hurt and fear… but even so, you don’t just say those things out loud in front of someone that you think might sexually harass you. That’s a weird thing to do.

There were times when I thought that I got followed by someone. There were also times that I thought that I was getting eyed by some sketchy-looking dudes… but I never thought about letting those people know that I feel threatened or something.

If you encounter three people in a dark alleyway, you don’t typically go up to them and say “Hey, you look like you’re gonna stab me!” – even if they ask if there’s a problem. You’ll just go away. Quickly. Because you don’t wanna get stabbed.

…and I know… I know… missed opportunity. I could have told these people that I’m not a molester or that I’ve never molested anyone and that I don’t intend to change that… like… at all… I could have said something rude as well but I didn’t want to go there. I had a few lines in my head that sounded quite funny… but they also were incredibly rude.

Anyway, people are weird. I felt quite insulted by that interaction and frankly, I just needed to vent about it in a post. Today, I’ll be at the GamesCom (this time for sure). I’ll probably write up a new review or a few interviews in the next few days. Look forward to that.

This post was first published on Indiecator by Dan Indiecator aka MagiWasTaken. If you like what you see here and want to see more, you can check me out on Twitch and YouTube as well.

6 thoughts on “People are Weird – also the ticket-fiasco

Add yours

  1. That is such a strange interaction! Tbh idk what ppl are thinking when they just say stuff like this. I didn’t get an sa accusation but I did get a “murderer” one and I was like uhhhh ok?? i don’t really remember the context but they did explain it and I was like ok that’s understandable but like?? Unprompted? To a stranger?? Makes no sense. And not to be one of those ppl (bc i believe that sa, no matter the degree, should be taken seriously) but it almost sounded suggestive in a way 🤨

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think my issue is the “assuming vile intentions just from someone sitting on a bench” thing more than the implication of it. SA Accusations should definitely be taken seriously. The same goes for harassment and the like. If there’s truth to it, it will come out, obviously. Of course, there are cases when people lie or just assume… but those are incredibly rare and one should never assume that it’s the case whenever it happens. I mean, in reality, victims of SA, DV, and harassment will face more criticism, slander and abuse from people for coming out with their stories than the people that they come out about.

      In this case, it was just an instance of people assuming bad intentions, being proven wrong, but then voicing their thoughts against me with the intention of… what exactly? What was the intention? It’s the assumption that hurts but hearing it be voiced directly felt nearly hateful.
      And again, I could have argued or something but in reality, anything I’d say would make me look bad if that makes sense. Especially when it went into “people from outside of here” and borderline-racism, it was best to just tune them out.

      Like

  2. Honestly, I think putting on headphones and tuning them out was the right choice at that point. Maybe I’ve just lost faith in humanity too much, but once you’ve established the people you’re talking to are being unreasonable, probably best to just disengage if it’s possible because you’re not going to convince them of a damn thing.

    I’m sorry to hear it still, though. You’re right that some people certainly feel nervous about abuse/assault for good reasons, but yeah, just accusing some guy they encounter in a station or wherever of having such vile intentions without any proof is crossing the line into indecency.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I wasn’t even trying to convince anyone. I just said that it’s a weird thing to do, essentially. But at some point, it just seemed like I used up more energy on that subject than needed. I should’ve just ignored them from the start.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Honestly, I shouldn’t assume anything from people I don’t know but they sound like they were trying to bring attention to themselves. I don’t know what you look like but if they identified you as someone from a different ethnicity/race or wtv maybe they were just doing the microaggression thing to establish their dominance. Who knows… I think you handled it super well(for what it’s worth).

    Liked by 1 person

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