Trauma takes many different shapes. It affects people differently and there isn’t really a way to “fix” it that works for all of them. People also can be traumatized through many different ways which makes discussion of it quite difficult, especially due to the raw nature of the events that transpired. As such, I haven’t really encountered too many games out there that try to deal with the subjects at hand.
He Fucked The Girl Out Of Me is one such game that talks about a plethora of subjects from sex work to the developer’s experience with their trans journey and stigma.
Content warnings include sex work, gender dysphoria, deadnaming, nonconsensual sex, dubious consent, rape, date rape, sissification kink, transphobia, sex/nudity, age gap, abuse, suicidal ideation, and blood.
Note: This post contains some spoilers for this game.
Developer/Author: Taylor McCue Genre: Indie, Mature, LGBTQIA+, Semi-Autobiographical, Visual Novel, Interactive Fiction Release Date: May 21st, 2022 Reviewed on: PC Available on: PC, Game Boy Game is available for free on Steam and Itch.io, but was purchased via a donation.
The game will ask you if you want to hear about the trigger warnings and a lot of that page (as well as the game) goes into detail about their experience and how they do not want to invalidate people’s positive experiences with sex work.
And in my opinion, they do a great job at stressing that this is their own personal experience, especially as they go into detail about what sex work did with them.
Now, due to the nature of the game, I will have to say that people should be careful with it. It’s not a game that is supposed to make you feel good or anything. It’s a semi-autobiographical visual novel where the author tells their story from their memories while fictionalizing the events so that “things don’t get messy”.
It’s only 40 minutes long but those 40 minutes are perhaps the most raw 40 minutes I’ve experienced in games and I’m glad that the developer made this game.
As a cis man, I felt the need to play this because I can’t possibly understand the experiences of someone that is trans, no matter how much I read about it, without getting to hear about the bad sides, the trauma, and the abuse. This game does that very well.
“Trauma is a part of life. Everyone has trauma. It’s common in trans people” – the game states.
It’s different for everyone but I was able to relate to a lot of the ways that Taylor McCue described the events. I was able to relate to the feelings of isolation and shame they felt, even if I haven’t been through the same experiences as them.
He Fucked The Girl Out Of Me tells the story of a young person that is in need of money to pay for food and to also be able to transition. Instead of going the illegal route, they want to legally transition, and live their life properly. It’s difficult, though, especially before certain bills were passed.
Their friend Sally then tells them about how they can earn a lot of money by going on dates with older men. And then many events unfold. Sally protects us but also brought us into this world of abuse and exploitation.
Something that really stuck with me is the beginning sequence of the game where the author doesn’t tell of their experience but rather about reactions to their experience. When they opened up to one man, that man got an erection. Another shamed them. It’s sickening.
As we move on, we find ourselves getting introduced to more and more subject matters that are very much negative in nature. Sex work is criminalized and shunned, for instance, at the time of the events, and due to that a lot of stigma was created.
The author wasn’t able to get help from their family due to this stigma and due to general transphobia.
Another moment in the game that really hit me was how they measured items they’d buy in “micro-rapes”. It’s a strong metaphor and when I went through a lot of abuse at my old job, I’d also end up calculating how many bad days of work I’d have to go through to be able to buy something nice for myself or for friends.
But there is so much more in the game, from the imagery in it to how the protagonist of it changes depending on how they see themselves to how choices aren’t necessarily options. I can’t get into all of it without spoiling everything, so if you have the energy/spoons, please, give it a play – but again, only if you’re in a good place to start with.
This game is raw unaltered discussion of tough subjects and it’s very brave in what it does – but despite that, it will probably not receive that much attention as it is classified as sexual content on Steam even though it doesn’t have sexual scenes in it. At the same time, in that niche, it will also not be successful due to the lack of sexual scenes.
Hence, here’s the itch.io page for He Fucked The Girl Out Of Me. It’s a difficult game to stomach but it definitely is worth it. If you’re in a place to support a developer that does a lot for awareness and the queer Indie Dev community, consider donating some money. I’m sure it goes a long way.
This post was originally written by Dan Dicere from Indiecator.
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