A Stray Sheep on Life

So, health stuff! Life’s good, I wanna say, but I still don’t know why I turned blind all of a sudden a few months ago. The cardiologist appointment resulted in… nothing? I mean, I now know that it’s not my arteries being blocked or anything, so that’s good. My internal specialist said that it may be “just” migraines but at least it’s not a stroke! Now, I’ll have to wait until my neurologist appointment… which is gonna happen in the new year. They might check my nerve fluids (I tried translating it into English)… but factually, I now know not much more than before.

But it’s fine to take painkillers, according to my internal specialist. I hesitate quite a lot when it comes to painkillers for some very silly reason, so now I may actually resort to those. Grabbing some paracetamols or ibuprofens at times when the migraines are really bad, is fine, after all. It just shouldn’t be too much in a single day.

“If it helps, it’s good” – my internal specialist.

Apart from that, life’s been somewhat good. Money’s a bit of an issue right now due to bills but thanks to the generosity and trust of a friend, I can get through this month without any issues and without “inkasso” getting involved (aka debt collectors) who might end up stopping by and stealing my kidneys or something… and again, I will repay it but I always hesitate to ask in the first place. I gotta get my shit together.

In other news, December’s been a bit depressing due to politics, covid, and just everything else going on at the moment. I try to distract myself but I only have some success with it, given that those topics are everywhere. Due to these coughing fits I’ve been having, I’ve not been able to sleep too well lately. When I go to sleep, I end up waking up in the middle of the night for some violent coughs that hurt my lungs and give me a hard time breathing. Still, they are rarer now, so I may be able to recover soon and return to streaming.

Speaking of streams, though, I’m a bit anxious about getting back into it… I mean, I’m looking forward to progressing in Dark Souls 3 (Cathedral of the Deep!) and The Walking Dead (S1E3!) and I’m really looking forward to doing some Indie streams again but I’m worried that talking a lot again on a stream may hurt my voice again… and that may result in worse coughing fits and I’m just not sure how to feel about that. I’m sure it will be fine but I kinda have these doubts and thoughts in my head and then I overthink stuff and then I feel worse than before.

The only thing that gives me joy lately is blogging and even that is something that I’ve been letting slide. I mean this post is incredibly late and I still need to write a post for tomorrow and prepare posts for the holidays where I’ll be gone. I’m getting a lot of joy out of blogging lately and it’s the only good thing that has happened to me these days but as it stands, I feel as if I’m not giving it enough energy and attention, which is a bad thing. I wanna give it my all and write more reviews and stuff but I guess that’s just life. Sometimes you don’t have the energy for that. Sometimes you can’t give it your all… and mental health, as well as personal health, takes priority. I’ll try to take it a bit easy without worrying too much about the blogging side of things. I will still keep up the streak and blog daily until the end of the year! I’ll just have to make sure that I don’t stress myself out or end up burning out.

On another note, though, the newsletter that I mentioned before didn’t go very far. I may end up doing a monthly newsletter instead of a weekly one as it’s taking a lot of work for what it is. On top of that, I haven’t done anything with YouTube in months and I wanna get back into that but potentially do something different… but before I mention more, I need to brainstorm a lot more and figure out what to call the format and how I plan on organising that project. I’m quite excited about that although I want to actually script videos for that to make some of my work easier and essentially help keep up the motivation in the long run. ^-^)


This post was first published on Indiecator by Dan Indiecator aka MagiWasTaken. If you like what you see here and want to see more, you can check me out on Twitch and YouTube as well.

One thought on “A Stray Sheep on Life

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  1. I wish you a speedy recovery and commend your commitment to self-care!

    If it means anything I definitely miss your streams, but I understand and respect why you need to step away from it—at least temporarily. Get well soon and stay awesome!

    Liked by 1 person

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